adviceOkay, my girlfriend recently broke up with me on the day before Valentines(sucks eh?). Anyways, this month would have been 5 months together. Before she was with me she had been with her old boyfriend for 3 years, and we got together about a month after that. Yes, I know that was fast and you are all going to say something about the 3 years. She is one year younger than me and i'm in my last year of high school.
Anyways, the first 3 months of being together were just flat out awesome and I enjoyed every minute of it. Then after New Years her attitude slowed down, I believe I posted on here. After we talked on the phone for like 2 hours the night we broke up, it still didn't make much sense of why. She said that all people are meant to find something special in relationships, they dont just get in it to get in it. That she thinks she is wasting my time by being with me and then having me suddenly leave and never talking to me again when college comes around. As much as I disagreed with this matter she would not believe me. She said that I would expect her to feel the same way as I do when I leave and she wont. She doesn't like to "Love" or say "I love you" because of what happened with her old boyfriend, I never got into the relationship thinking about any of that or planned on saying it anytime soon. I liked the way things were going.
We talked the other day, actually Valentines night when I had my mom leave just so we could talk. I asked her if she still liked me more than a friend and she said that she likes me alot more than a friend still. She said there was nobody else she liked and wont be any time soon so that isn't why we broke up. I asked (had to) if there was any chance we could get back together anytime? She said "I dont know, that doesn't mean no though." I asked her if she needed time or a break and she said, "I guess..I dont know". It just doesn't make any sense.......Now that she has broken up with me I miss and will miss her even more as I hang out with her everyday.
Most of you dont know how much I feel about this girl. She is just about everything great for me and I love everything about her, she is different than all the other girls in my school. She also used to tell me all the time how much she liked me and what she enjoyed and how she liked it like that. Even now, when she says we can remain on good tems and good friends. When I see her she still gives me hugs like she misses me and looks at me like she wants me. Just the other day when I stopped by her work she was like shy or nervous around me. Like she still liked me, but didn't know what to say. We still talk everyday on the phone, make jokes at eachother, laugh and flirt a little, and other things....I know she still wants to be together but I seriously dont know why she did this. I still even after we break up tell her how good she looks and all the same things, she does the same back to me as well.
I know some of you will say to move on, but I really dont want to. I want her back, do you think there is a chance she will want to get back together again? I'm so lost and only think there is one thing to do. Give her time? It seems like we are on a break but she just doesn't want to say it.....
We went to a BIG concert tonight and we had PIT tickets together and our friends were up in the seats. So we were together for about 5 hours. All night and usually we still have elbows in elbows you know? Like going somewhere formal. We also still usually like rub each others back to get warm and so forth.
Tonight though, as much as I still can't hear and am kind of tired. After about an hour of the show and me always and still behind her, I put my arms around her so they go on her stomach ya know? She didn't say anything. A bit later she put her hands in my pockets while mine were on her. Later, I put them around her neck and she rested on them. Then when my hands were around her she went and put her hands in mine. We smiled at each other all night and fooled around with each other.
When everyone left and her friend that was staying over was in the other room. We said good bye with a longgg hug and another hug. When our hug was ended I went to put my hand in hers but backed off and said sorry. I dont think she knew what I said it for but I guess that was stupid...
I am so down in the dumps and I dont know what to do....I feel like my life just should end. I friging hate everything in my life. Maybe i'm being selfish? I dont know. I dont really care at this point. Its been 2 in a half weeks since our break up and I just can't cope with it. My feelings toward her are just too strong. Every time I see her I just want to kiss her sweet lips one last time, or move my fingers through her hair.....
I have been so depressed the past week, the week before was okay, but still like crap. I dont understand how after 4 months of us being together she could just end it out of no where. Just flat out end it for some dumb reason that I still to this day dont get. I dont even understand how her asshole of a ex boyfriend stayed with her for 3 years.
My mom recently found out and she said that I deserve better. After she told me to "try this" I know what she is up to. She told me to just find another girl and make my EX jealous and want me to get back together with her. Which in turn, would make me forget about her. Seriously, I spent so much time and especially money on her and enjoyed every minute of it. Apparently she didn't. My mom said she used me like a door mat.......god i'm a piece of shit. Wow...one thing in my life that I want so bad and can't have. I can't tell you how many times i've cried for this girl. Or how many times I stayed up all night hoping she wanted me back.
The past few days I haven't called or text her for a reason. I do think if I wait she will want me back, hopefully that is the case. She said she has liked me for the past year in half since i've moved here, I dont think her attitude will change. Every time i'm around her she still acts nervous and shy. I know she still truely likes me and wants to say it but doesn't. Can't I just say how I feel already? It has been two weeks and I want to tell her how bad I miss her and how bad I still want her back? Can I not tell her how I haven't been mad at her this whole time, I just can't stand the site of her without getting sad? I mean, the day after we broke up my eyes were even watery going into my first class.
Have any of you ever felt this way? Some may say to drop it and move on, but you know what? I'm not like those other kids at the school and move onto another girl or even cheat on the one i'm with. I know she likes me and I as you can tell still like her. Please some one just give me some advice. I am really lost and really can't deal with this. Should I just have more patience? Or just tell her?...Thank you if you took the time to read this or reply. I greatly appreciate it.
Cherise this is how I really feel.
My birthday was great. I spent it with the best girl in the world and we had a great time. We went and saw some of her old friends. Some shit face decided to stop by and act like a retard with his 10 year old girlfriend. Later in the night before we were about to leave he wanted to start shit and threw up his hands like a dipshit. Then after almost tripping over his saggy ass pants he fucking flipped me off lmao. Oh..this was after he threw a cup of urine on my car. I just washed it and I didn't really mind because it was just urine.....
What a fucking retard. How mature right?
